How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
