guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
