You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
