he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I need a beard to bite.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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