So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
