I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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