So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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