I wanna bring you to show and tell
At least make sure they are 18
Why
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you traded sex for a burrito?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
