Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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