He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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