My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
