i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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