I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
