At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
