while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
