I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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