I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
