did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
