Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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