is your mom at the bar?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
