I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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