My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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