Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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