We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
