I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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