On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
