drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
