thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
