You smell like stripper and shame
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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