I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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