If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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