Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
