I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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