ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I skipped work to stalk him.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
