you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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