big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He kissed a someone with a penis
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize