Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Mom said you looked used
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
