He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
not ubering you a puppy
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
