Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
