the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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