Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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