You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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