I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
