i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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