Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
