Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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