You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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