Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
