I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
