I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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